Well. It's been a week. Saturday I managed to get all the photos up on the site - here. I'll have some more from the other guys later.

To explain my absence from the net...

I woke up Sunday and could hardly move. I'd done something to my neck/shoulder and was in real agony. I was meant to be working, but I only managed to get out of bed. Didn't go to work on Monday or Tuesday and saw the Dr yesterday. He signed me off work for the week, prescribed me some Diclofenac (500mg) for the next 2 weeks. Apparently I have a tortolossis or something... and sat at a desk typing is extremely painful :( Thats why I havent updated this here blog. Ho-hum

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[link]   Posted @ 09:29

Saw this a couple of days ago and thought I would post it:

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE AREA.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
10 . He is not a WANKER - He is an OWNER OPERATOR

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[link]   Posted @ 14:58

Well, I got back into the country on Monday afternoon - but my sites have been inaccessible since Monday. This was due to where the server my sites are hosted having issues. Not the server itself, but the provider of the net connection cut it off 10 days early and when the ISP got reconnected, all the IP addresses had changed. Slowly my mail has been trickling through, so I should catch up in a couple of days.

I have pictures, etc of Prague and whole write up to do but this will have to wait until Saturday when I can process the pictures into the Gallery.

I'll update later with more news and stuff...

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[link]   Posted @ 09:03

Well here I am. Its now Saturday morning and we have been clubbing since Friday night. Going home soon as we are beginning to start flagging. Bizarrely though, we are currently in the basement of a 5 floor nighclub (the largest in Europe) posting this. Free internet in a club! Whatever next...

We spent today walking around Prague and discovering what a great looking and ancient city it is. Gonna have to bring Shell here for a romantic weekend I think. Loads of shops - especially clothes and shoe shops - she'd love it.

Missing Shell hugely. I'll update later on and will post picture on Monday when I get back to Blighty.

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[link]   Posted @ 01:52

Well, today is my last day in good old Blighty until Monday. Tomorrow morning, I fly out to Prague with my mates Paul, Andy, Fluff and Duncan. Duncan's other half is picking me up around 7am to take us to the airport and we will then make our flight to Prague in the Czech Republic. The flight is about 2 hours, so we will have plenty of time when we get there to sort out our rooms, get some grub and then find somewhere to drink while watching the England match.

This evening, I have to do some ironing, finish off packing, drop some CDs off to various people, shave and sleep. I might even eat something!

Courtesy of one of my links to your left, is Two Things. Makes for some great reading :)

So. Thats about it until Monday. If you need to get hold of me urgently, try emailing me. As soon as I find an Internet Cafe, I can pick up my email and get back to you. As all of us are pretty much computer freaks, I imagine it will be quite high on the agenda :)

I think its a good thing that I am going away. Spend 4 days trying to put all the bad things behind me and get focus on my life once again. Gonna miss Shell hugely though.

I will post details and pictures from our visits to local places of historical interest next week, and may even update this here bloggy thingy from Prague itself (see above reference to Internet Cafe).

Byeeeeeeee!!!

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[link]   Posted @ 11:47

11 pages of vitriolic diatribe did not make for good reading yesterday. I honestly think my ex- needs psychiatric help, but I don't care about that anymore. I only care about my kids and how they are.

I almost gave that up too yesterday. After reading the pages and pages of nonsense at my solicitors, I thought to myself "Why am I bothering? She's mad! What are the kids going through?". I actually considered telling my solicitor to forget about the whole thing and walk away from everything - completely.

But I can't and I won't. I love my kids with a passion. They are my offspring and I would die or donate organs for them at the drop of a hat. All I want to do is live peaceably and spend a reasonable amount of quality time with them. But certain people seem hell bent on not letting this happen. It is sad. So so sad.

I spent most of last night awake, trying to come to terms with the accusations and lies she has laid against me. Huge chunks of history completely forgotten, filled with hate and touches of madness. I have to respond to everything she has stated and I really dont want to read it through time and time again.

I know she will probably read this and think "Great! I've got to him and he hates it." Yeah I do - I hate it. But just think what you are doing to the kids. You say you love them, but you blatently dont - at least, not in a sane, loving manner. You use them to hurt people. They are individuals, little people in their own right, not playthings or weapons and shouldn't be used in such ways. You are meant to be a loving parent - look it it up in the dictionary. Nurturing? I don't think so.

Shell managed to calm me last night and eventually persuaded me to get to sleep (although I slept fitfully through the night).

So I'm going to soldier on. Those 2 kids of mine are great, and I dont want to miss out on a day if I can. I'm not angry - I'm sad. Sad and disappointed in certain people. But as they say "The truth will out" (whatever the hell that means), so I know things will be OK in the end. When the end is though, thats another matter...

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[link]   Posted @ 12:17

Met with my solicitor this afternoon, and my ex- actually printed off bits from my blog and submitted it in her statement.

Its a sort of fame. Might get some more readers... Oh, and Hiya to my unexpected reader :)

"Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me" - Kenneth Williams, Carry On Something

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[link]   Posted @ 18:50

Well that didnt go very well did it.

An equaliser in the 91st minute and a winning goal in the 93rd (from a penalty). I could rant on about what was wrong, who did wrong, who needs a kick in the arse, etc, but I cant be bothered. They just have to win the other 2 games now...

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Shells grandparents house. We had a great time, a lovely cold buffet and I fixed her grandads internet problem. His connection was working from 1 machine, but not from the other. No web pages would work or anything. So, into a command prompt, check the settings on both machines, try a ping and hey presto - 1 of them wasnt doing DNS lookups! I then identfied that Norton Firewall was the culprit - it crashed when I tried to reconfigure it, so I disabled it and turned on XPs firewall. Tried again and all was working. I was pleased - he was impressed. I am now thinking on how to implement a wireless network for him...

One thing happened a bit later on. We were all outside "getting a breath of fresh air" when Shells grandad came up to me and started telling me about the work he had done to the house (the house is v.exclusive, plus he has extended it, and runs a couple of businesses from it). This led to discussing the garden and finally onto the view of the back garden. (The lawn goes down a hill and into woods - maybe 300yds -and the boundary is somewhere in the woods!) Anyway, I noticed some uprooted tree stumps smoking away and mentioned them, so we walked down to take a look. These tree stumps have been there for about 5 years and are set on fire twice a year, but they are stil there and look like having no sign of giving up yet. So there we are, Me and Shells grandad admiring the smoking remains.

He then picks up a hoe and hefts it round!
"He's going to kill me with it"
My heart stopped as I then imagined him plunging it into me and cutting off my head or something.

He didnt, but used it to drag out the stones and ash from the centre of the bonfire. Phew!

When that was finished, he put the hoe down and I breathed again. He then turned around and picked up a length of rope.
"My god he is going to string me up!"
But of course he didnt - he used it to move one of the stumps and then it all started flaming again!

When I retold the story in the car on the way home, everyone laughed at my reactions... but they weren't there. They aren't the person that sleeps with his grand-daughter every night, bastard that I must be!

Although, I think he might like me. On Saturday night he asked why on earth I would get involved with such a crazy family like his. My reply "It's a drawback of being very much in love with your grand-daughter." he gave a satisfied grunt and a smile. As an encore, of course, I fixed his internet problem.

I rawwwk!

Saw Bimbo at the cashpoint last night while Shell was getting money out. Shell asked her a couple of pointed questions about what lies she had made up this time. Bimbo was set to pop and stormed off, leaving Shell and I in stitches.

Something I remembered this morning:

A few months back, I bought myself a Trade It, which is a local ads rag. For a laugh, Shell and I looked through the "Personal Contact" section and ended up rolling around laughing due to a misplaced comma.

"I love.... movies, animals walking hand in hand, swimming..."

As soon as I read it, I had little films going off in my head and then started rolling around laughing. Between my tears, I managed to get Shell to read it and notice the grammatical fault. The result was infectious.*

There are a couple of products that caught my eye at Firebox earlier. Check out the Lawn Chair and also the new Tamagotchi Connexions

A really weird comic, but it has some great math/physics in it. Oddly, once I started, I couldn't stop reading it.

And guess what! I took yet another test...
What Marvel Superhero are you?
What Marvel Superheroine are you?

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[link]   Posted @ 09:30

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[link]   Posted @ 13:33

Tomorrow at 17:00, Euro 2004 kicks off in Portugal. here is a listing of the games, the kick off times and what UK TV channel is showing the game:-

Saturday 12 June
Portugal v Greece (5.00pm) - BBC
Spain v Russia (7.45pm) - BBC

Sunday 13 June
Switzerland v Croatia (5.00pm) - BBC
France v England (7.45pm) - ITV

Monday 14 June
Denmark v Italy (5.00pm) - ITV
Sweden v Bulgaria (7.45pm) - ITV

Tuesday 15 June
Czech Republic v Latvia (5.00pm) - ITV
Germany v Netherlands (7.45pm) - BBC

Wednesday 16 June
Greece v Spain (5.00pm) - BBC
Russia v Portugal (7.45pm) - ITV

Thursday 17 June
England v Switzerland (5.00pm) - ITV
Croatia v France (7.45pm) - BBC

Friday 18 June
Bulgaria v Denmark (5.00pm) - BBC
Italy v Sweden (7.45pm) - ITV

Saturday 19 June
Latvia v Germany (5.00pm) - ITV
Netherlands v Czech Republic (7.45pm) - BBC

Sunday 20 June
Spain v Portugal (7.45pm) - BBC
Russia v Greece (7.45pm) - BBC

Monday 21 June
Croatia v England (7.45pm) - BBC
Switzerland v France (7.45pm) - BBC

Tuesday 22 June
Italy v Bulgaria (7.45pm) - ITV
Denmark v Sweden (7.45pm) - ITV

Wednesday 23 June
Netherlands v Latvia (7.45pm) - ITV
Germany v Czech Republic (7.45pm) - ITV

I should be watching a fair few of them over the next week or so, especially the England games. I dont follow football as a rule, unless its Liverpool, England, Euro or World Cup competitions.

Also found out today that Joe Walsh is playing the Bristol Bierkeller on 24th June. The legendary Eagles guitarist (and a pretty damn good solo career) appearing in a little club in Bristol... I am so there!

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[link]   Posted @ 15:21