My plans for the next week and a bit:

Tuesday 19th
Xmas lunch in the canteen
Xmas dinner/party with the department
Staying in Bristol overnight

Wednesday 20th
Get home and frantically start wrapping presents

Thursday 21st
More frantic present wrapping and hiding of presents

Friday 22nd
Go Xmas food shopping
Pick up kids and keep them til the 24th

Sunday 24th
Drop kids off at their mums
Wrap anything that I forgot

Monday 25th
Do the present thing with Shell
Xmas lunch at Shells mums
Visit MrMan & Ian @ Ians - drop Ians kids presents off
Drink and pass out

Tuesday 26th
Pick up kids - have Xmas day all over again with them

Wednesday 27th
Working from home with the kids

Thursday 28th
Kids at their Nans - I'm at work

Friday 29th
Working from home with the kids
Drop them home around 6pm
Relax...

Then start the New Years celebrations!

If all that goes to plan, I will be most amazed.

There are a couple of things weighing on my mind at the moment:
1/ Getting all the presents sorted out and wrapped
2/ Working out what to serve me and the kids on Boxing Day
3/ Hoping that the 1 present that is on back-order gets to me for the 23rd
4/ Sex

(they are in no particular order)

Another bugbear is what to cook on Boxing Day. The kids (and I) would have had the whole turkey thing on the main day, so I think I will steer clear. A buffet for lunch (sausage rolls, "pigs in blankets", cheese/pineapple on sticks, sandwiches, etc) and a late roast in the evening. This of course entails that I actually plan what to eat and make up a shopping list...

Oh. I didn't get that job in Ireland, so it looks like I'm gonna be around here for a while yet :)

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[link]   Posted @ 13:36

There is a famous motivational saying:"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities"

Therefore, I do not have a drinking "problem", I have drinking opportunities.

Last Thursday was my team do and I managed to royally bugger up my right ankle as I stepped out of the restaurant. Fortunately, the much loved numbing effect of alcohol helped me out - until Friday morning... A visit to the doctor told me that I had a 2nd degree sprain - nasty - should take 6-8 weeks to recover completely!

Saturday I gatecrashed the local Sports Centre Xmas do - that was a good laugh. And tomorrow night is my department do in Bristol. No dancing for me though...

Catch you all before Christmas!

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[link]   Posted @ 21:55

So, another year is drawing to a close. 2006, eh! What a crock of shit.

It started really well - I've had some good times, some great times and some sad times. I've made some new friends, thrown up copiously due to drink for the first time in over a decade, been to Africa twice, been dressed as a fairy and am in more debt than I was at the beginning of the year. How many people can say that?

And (as I said to someone at work this morning), you can tell its getting near to Christmas, cos it's shit!

Should I recap my missing time?

November 17th - Friday morning saw us getting up at some unearthly hour (5am) as we were being picked up by taxi at 5.30...

We arrived at Bristol Airport at about 6.15 and checked in for the 8.10 flight. We were told that there was a delay on the flight and that we wouldnt be leaving until 9ish.

So we headed into the departure lounge (as this is the only place they allow smoking) and it was then we realised the greatness that is duty free. Flying to a non EU country meant I bought L&Bs for �1.50 a packet...

So we had something to eat, something to drink, watched TV, had a few smokes, listened to iPods, played with our PDAs (well - I'm the only one that did that) and slowly descended into despair as our flight got more and more delayed.

Finally, at 10.50 we got the call for boarding and off we went onto a replacement plane as the one we were meant to be on was buggered!

The hotel we stayed in - the RIU Tikida Dunas - was impressive. Check it out at
http://www.riu.com/en/clubhotel-riu-tikida-dunas-morocco.html - I would definately stay there again.

Food was ace - had fried egg, bubble & squeak, 3 pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast virtually every day! Along with orange juice and coffee. A true mans breakfast (only bacon was lacking, but that was only to be expected).

Anyway - we had a nice relaxing week - I ate a lot, I drank a lot, I sunbathed a lot.

I didn't have any sex though, which is a bit of a downer. One night (after we had spent the day out on a fishing trip - I caught 7 mackerel, 1 bream and 2 whiting) I couldn't sleep, so decided to try my luck out at the onsite night club. So I dolled myself up and quietly left the room around 11pm (Shell was already asleep) and slowly walked over to the nightclub. As I approached it, I could see that it wasn't very busy and as I walked in the doorway I saw just how bad it was.

There were about 11 people at the bar. They were all (apart from the single barman) over the age of 50. There was one drunk woman (c. 55 yrs old) dancing on the dance floor. They had a single strobe light that flashed every 20 seconds regardless of the music...

So I turned around, went back to the apartment and then read my book, drank and smoked on the patio until about 3am, when it started getting cold.

One day we went on a Fish'n'Cruise, which was ace as I caught some fish (mostly macarel) And on the Thursday before we came home, we went on a 2hr camel ride. Dear god - although it was interesting and fun, camel rising is dead uncomfortable. And I ended up with a stream of camel snot down my shorts, as the camel behind mine (mine was Sliky, the one behind was Jimi Hendrix) kept rubbing his nose into my leg! I'd do it again though (although without the camel snot).

I went jet biking but Dave and I both got told off by the people that ran it when we finished. They kept getting worried about how close into the beach I was getting so that I could use the surf/swells, as there was virtually nothing further out. Ho-hum! Half the fun is finding out you just whacked some fat german on the head as you wave jumped!

The only downer to the holiday was that Su managed to nearly break a toe on he last but one day! She was coming out of the sea and planted a great kick on a huge rock - by accident. She was on crutches for a couple of weeks!

As you leave Morocco, you have to change all your currency back, as the country doesnt trade its Dirams on the open market. And even then, the security guards at passport control went through my wallet checking I wasn't smuggling any out! Why would I smuggle any out? What would be the point? I cant convert it to anything as no-one takes it!

Anyway, had a relaxing time. I will put some photos up later and let you know where they are so you can laugh at my pale whale-like torso and ooh/ahh at Shells tanned lithe form. Damn her!

That takes us to the evening of the 24th and in true style, I went down the pub with Tim, Kim and Katie.

I have since been working hard (inlcuding some overnight work) and playing hard (one Saturday night out with Tim et al and didnt get back til 4.30am...)

Chandler had his birthday party last Wednesday and got his presents from me on the Saturday. Best present was probably his "Super Marble Run". He might be getting some more for Xmas. *cough*

Erm. What else is there to tell you? I don't appear to be going to Ireland, so that one set of plans out of the window. I have made some new ones and will put them into action sometime next year (hi MrMan).

So what has life got in store for me until next year? Tonight I am working, tomorrow is my team Xmas do (and staying at the Bristol YHA overnight), out this weekend, next Tuesday is my works Xmas do (staying overnight in a Travelodge) and then the Xmas weekend is upon me. I have lots of wrapping to do, very little Xmas shopping *but* I do need to start working out what to do for food on Boxing Day with the kids. A full Xmas dinner or party food?

Xmas Day will see me spending most of the day at Shells parents, but also popping around (while slightly inebriated) to see various other people around Weston (Ian, Jonete, etc). Busy, busy, busy!

I shall update again before the end of the week (as we are now all up to date) with some interesting snippets of stuff off the web.

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[link]   Posted @ 11:05

Just in case you were wondering, I got back from Morocco safely, but just haven't had time to put anything up here yet.

And, it Chandlers 5th birthday today. Happy birthday Chan - see you on Friday!

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[link]   Posted @ 13:29

So I sit here at work, with that damn Madonna track in my head, ever since I wrote the topic entry. Bugger!

Tomorrow I fly to Morrocco for a weeks holiday, so this will be the last update until my return. Unless the hotel has an internet connection I can use...
I haven't packed yet - but I do have my list ready and yes, this time - it has the camera on it.
Hopefully, I wont get caught out by the new "hand luggage" rulings that are the current blight of the airborne traveller. As long as I can have my iPod and Palm PDA I shall be happy. Take that from me and I shall start kicking off. (By kicking off, I mean having a real go at someone, scream and shout, stamp my feet and then start hitting people. Fortunately, this will all be going on inside my head and not out in the real world where I would immediately get banned from flying. I might be mad, but I'm not stupid!)

A couple of interesting snippets. First up, The IT Crowd. A C4 series that appealed to me very much (as someone who spent many years doing PC support and still do in a way). Apparently, on the DVD release, there is an option in the menus for l33t subtitles. How geeky is that. I may have to purchase this. Or maybe add it to my Xmas list *HINT*HINT*

YouTube has a selection of classic Harry Enfield in the shape of Mr Cholmondley Warner videos. Superb!

Ever fancied wandering thinking your whole life is actually an FPS? By wearing these?

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[link]   Posted @ 14:25

It would appear that the pictures of me as a fairy are being classed as "scary". I thought I just looked weird, not scary...

Mitchell and Webb were ace! They did an expanded version of "The Secret Snooker lyrics to Lady In Red" as their finale - fucking superb! If only I could remember the new verses, damnit.

Some ace sketches, many of them from the TV series but brilliantly done. I am now the proud owner of a "That's NumberWang" T-shirt!

I found this cartoon and it had me in stitches. Check out more of the like at explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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[link]   Posted @ 17:55

When questioned by the Police about why they were in the bar, they said "Well, it started off as a joke..."

First up, photos of our "Black Fairies Big Night Out" can be found here. There are more and I shall get these from Kate when I get the chance.

Whole Lotta Led were great. A good couple of hours of solid enjoyment - Su and I loved it and chatted about it all the way home. One thing we both agree on - if we ever see a guitarist complete a riff and punch the air above the crowds head, we will shoot him or stamp on him. It was very annoying... In fact, he was the only annoying thing about the whole show. The singer was ace, the drummer fucking awesome, the bassist was on form (and his mandolin playing was sublime). The guitarist was average.

Saturday saw me out with the new usual suspects following a firework party round Mark and Jonetes (the kids nan). A good night was had by all - apart from Rae getting bottled on the side of the head, some twat trying to lay a punch on Philippe and hitting 2 women instead (Amy and Rae) and some guy I met in the taxi rank, who was telling me all about his plans to make a horror film about self-harming. With copious amounts of pig blood apparently.

This Saturday, Balance of Power are playing at Scallys but I unfortunately can't make it due to other commitments.

Sunday evening sees me at The Colston Hall to see on stage "The Two Faces of Mitchell & Webb" featuring those 2 guys from Peep Show and That Mitchell and Webb Look, with Andy from work. Should be ace.

Anyway, here's a little video to make you chuckel... Men Beware - .wmv

How To Be Interesting - this is superb. I do a couple of them (sort of) already but I am going to make a concerted effort to do all of them weekly. I can already start conversations with anybody about anything, but maintaining the interest - thats the killer!

Danger 50,000 Zombies! - Superb




xkcd strike again with a superb comic

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[link]   Posted @ 13:59

...I did step out dressed as a fairy. With green facial hair, green hair, green and blue eye makeup, blue lipstick and copious amounts of glitter...

There are pictures. When I have them - I will post them. Tim and I were the only ones that went overboard; everyone else arrived looking just like black fairies - whereas Tim and I had coloured hair, makeup, etc. It's always the way I suppose. During the evening, I also though of an idea for next years Lloyds Bank Pub Crawl.

Sunday saw Rhiannon horse riding at Gordano Valley Riding Centre. Now this place is something else. The road to it has to be seen (or better experienced) to be believed. In the space of maybe 200yds, there are more potholes than all the potholes I have ever seen in my life combined. It involves an odd creeping swaying driving motion to succeed and you weave ponderously between little islands of raised tarmac and hope beyond hope that you aren't going to leave some part of your suspension behind.

Then you arrive at the place - to be greeted by a load of ramshackle buildings, stables and a bar. The bar has a lot of character, mostly old character left from when it was last cleaned in 1908. But the people are friendly, the trainers are excellent and Chandler runs off exploring parts of the farm, finding mud, dung and puddles everywhere. A small boys dream!

They also sell Rainbrow Drops!

In blog news you may have spotted a couple of changes to the blog engine (courtesy of MrMan). Firstly, each individual blog article has a link to it at the bottom. Like a trackback, if you will. Also, in the comments section, there is a reply option beside each comment. Cool huh? There may be other things coming up, but I can't remember what I asked MrMan to implement...

Nothing else of interest to report this week really. Apart from last night, when I was in Scallys for their open stage night and was reading through the local free music mag - Scrumpy'n'Western and spotted that tonight, Whole Lotta Led are playing in Frome. They are on their "How The West Was Won" tour (just like the real LZ). The playlist tonight will be identical to the set list for the original LZ tour:

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[link]   Posted @ 11:12

Before, my usual collection of links and videos, some information about what I am up to at the moment.

Tim (my ex-brother-in-law) used to be my house mate. In 2 seperate houses. We spent all our time together, had the same circle of friends and everything. Anyway, we drifted apart for a while (still good friends though), as we both had full-time relationships, etc and our circle of friends vanished. Tims relationship ended before mine did and he now has a new circle of friends. Mad friends. Fun friends. And I have been accepted into their ranks.

And so this weekend, for Halloween, we are going out dressed as "Black Fairies". To this end, I have obtained black leggings, a black tutu and just need some black wings.
EDIT - Now obtained from Masquerade in Weston.

What I do need to do of course, is have a way of having some pockets installed so that I can carry my phone, money, fags and lighter! The kids Nan (Tims mum) has come to the rescue and will make some pockets and sew them on, on Saturday. Life saver!

Anyway, there will be pictures after the event - providing everything has turned up. The legging and tutu have been posted and should turn up tomorrow. The wings I am collecting tomorrow. Phew!

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[link]   Posted @ 13:01

Yesterday morning, my great Aunt Molly passed away. She had been in hospital for some time and had refused all visitors, as she didn't want to be seen in the state she was in.

She was a great laugh when I was child. Always had biscuits and something interesting for me to play with.

I was really upset when I found out she was in hospital dying but now its just expectation fulfilled.

Bye Auntie Molly - love you...



This morning, Ian and Shelly had a baby girl! Who I presume is a couple of weeks early. She was born at 9.59am and weighed in 9lb 1oz.

Welcome to the world Xanthi Veronica May Ward.



On Monday, I approached my manager about that job and this morning, he got back to me. He is interested. He will have a think about it and let me know soon - if he does go for it, I will need to go and visit the site, get involved, etc as it goes live on Jan 1st 2007.

If he does go for it, in a few months, I could be working in Tullamore, Co. Offaly, Ireland...

To start off, they would pay for all my accomodation, etc and when I find an apartment, they would pay for that as well. Along with my flight costs and other stuff. Until the point that I decide whether to live there permanently or not...

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[link]   Posted @ 19:16