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Worlds Worst Invention No1 - The Testicles
Meeting at the designers office of the Human Being Design & Manufacturing Company
Design Manager: OK everyone, as we all know this is the crunch component, the key part of the whole system, responsible for ensuring the creation of future human beings and determining their gender, ensuring we don't end up with either male or female saturation. What have you got for me?
Senior Designer: Erm, slight problem boss. You see we've got a production version, and it worked fine in pilot, but we've discovered it will only work at 17 degrees below the operating temperature for the rest of the system.
Design Manager: OK, suggestions people - how do we get round the problem?
Senior Designer: We'll have to go back and start from scratch - try and work out which bit doesn't function at 37 degrees
Project Manager: Not an option people, we're already 12% over budget and the final build goes out next week. We need this sorting by the end of tomorrow.
Senior Designer: In that case we've got no choice but to just bolt them on the outside.
Design Manager: I assume we can get some solid casing round them?
Technical Support: No can-do mate, the infrastructure's complete - we left space for them inside the pelvis, similar to the position of the ovaries on the female version. There's no way we can risk putting any bone outside the external layer not without proper protection, and I know the muscular boys can't get any more material from their suppliers before we go live.
Design Manager: OK, we'll just have to live with it and hope they don't get hit.
3:00pm progress meeting
Senior Developer: That's an improvement, but it's a couple of degrees too cold now - it'll still work, it's just that performance won't be optimised and I think we'll get complaints from the customers over it's success rate.
Design Manager: What about putting some hair on it?
Senior Developer: Good thinking sir. That seems to have done the trick.
Boardroom - Build Launch meeting two days later
Managing Director: So what you're telling me, in short, is that the key component to future development of our product won't work inside the main product packaging? And despite it's delicate composition you've housed it in a completely unprotected and frankly ridiculous looking case devoid of the skeletal protection afforded all the other organs?
Design Manager: Yes Sir.
Managing Director: You're fired
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